Every time I log into facebook, I see this.
It's giving me anxiety attacks. I keep trying to answer, BUT I CAN'T. I don't know. I cannot decide where I'm from.
I was born in Wisconsin. My parents are from New Jersey, and I lived there until I was 16.
But then I spent 12 years in North Carolina.
I'm SO CONFUSED.
Maddie really likes watching videos of herself on my phone. She finds is completely and utterly hilarious. So sometimes, I'll look at my camera roll, and find something like this.
Toddlers are so freaking awesome.
There are two shows that come on occasionally, that leave me puzzled.
The first-Jungle Junction: I would like to know why the animals have wheels.
Some are mopeds, some are four wheelers, some are tricycles. Is it a show with subliminal messages about vehicular equality? Bicyclic integration? At attempt to let preschoolers everywhere know that they fit in, no matter their chosen method of transport?
It's a weird fucking show.
The second is Peppa Pig. At first, it's innocuous. A pig family, with adorable British accents, doing happy family things and learning stuff along the way. Pretty much par for the course of toddler shows.
But then, when you're not paying attention, and reading blogs on your laptop while the babies eat pretzels and stare, transfixed at the pig family, you hear it. THE SNORT. The oink.
"talk talk talk cute accent talk talk OINK talk talk"
And you think, 'nah, there's no way that just happened', until you hear it again.
"dad pig talk talk talk OINK OINK serious british man voice talk OINK talk talk talk OINK OINK".
So you say 'OH FUCK NO' and turn on Yo Gabba Gabba instead because while that show may be weird as hell, at least there's no OINKING.